not so

freshly pressed,
burning ankle and rental
stress
a weight falling as if
gravity was growing
a plane ticket crawling
closer to cover the millimetre
difference
time is broken it
tells of yesterday and tomorrow
all at once in a slur of words
forgets the now as it
tries to web its way around
a whole life to contain it but
look- there are bits always falling
out the net is ever breaking
-you should have made it stronger
when it was in the making!
now its done and the ocean has won
so just let it all go and embrace
something more eternal.

The universe from a distance

bird gone have wings on the way down
freelance means no steady salary
sorry I haven’t called, life. I’ve been busy
still, everything has grown since
yesterday when
thunder broke windows and
irony was a valid scrabble word.
so began the self worth we found in a
scornful tone
to discover it was all rush rush rush
before the mud still tried fly?
so began the start of a very long time
and a very short time
all at once
we are all snowflakes melting in the sun
the patterns ever-changing and then puddle
the universe from a distance
is a plop.

Here is a poem

It is black and blue and
polkadot too
it is round and a sound and a
rectangle too
there is not quite much this
poem cant do
it is shape it is shift it is
even a lift
it is power and less it is
a worst and a best it is
acid of mind and the
pin behind the point of your eyes
it is the glazed gaze before sleep
it is the shimmer of shallow and
the shadow of deep
It is this and more and
yours to keep

I forgot how to listen to silence

Eyes watch space and time collide
static atoms on the air
rainbow pindrop particles of nothing- you would think.

The humdrum AC backdrop of these thoughts that travel everywhere
remembering reviewing judging renewing
experience with memory,
The weather that makes the stone.
I forgot how to listen to silence
…I think I blame my phone
I forgot how to sense
A stillness and a presence
instead I looked to the canvas for a place to
stop
tapping feet counting sheep clicking pictures all to keep
in a frame, under name, in the end all looks the same,
a box a list a friend? you think- do I think too?
if it says so it must be true
the blogs the links the frogs the things!

so I forgot how to listen to silence
and that was quite silly you see, because,
when I forgot how to listen to silence
it forgot how to listen to me :/

a trace

see how their howls hit the walls
like wolfs a scuffle of sharp paws
broken nails a fight against
the box that contains them a battle
against the universe a limelight
a pedestal creations and destructions
that fragile self is twirling in the whirlwind
of life destruction and creation affirmations
and intentions the splinters are wedged behind
your fingersnails and remind you when you speak.

because

everybody wants to be
inside your eyes; locked with images too cold
to see the colours they emit, instead an
ice-cold outstead and the echoes of a melody,
because truth is too heavy for any one person to hold,
so we carry it together, collectively and bold
because pain is the same in any language new or old
because cold was a state and the mind will soon be sold
because moments only matter in the moments that they matter and
an instant later shatter in a million pieces on a platter
because
I don’t want to finish the rest of this poem.
because you expect it.

so

i stand, on the bittersweet ground of the
tipper-edge of nerve endings- that ritual inevitable
that unspoken hurt those unitterated sighs
I think I saw you in that bittersweet nanosecond of
consequence before cause- I think I felt that outermost mesh of
being that surrounds you like a tickertape tick er tapin’
the momentous moments of this life like when i lost my first
tooth or when the bike fell over a small bump and scraped the half
of my chin off.
I wish I knew you like the awkward moments of my making like
those infinite seconds before think of and think as meet and combine
like a magicians concoction of make believe and make real
I think I lost the frost of my dreams between the nightmares that you drain
I am not armageddon nor do I promise to remain I am only

When I count words

You won’t see the words I throw away
You won’t see the bin full of ideas and
broken thoughts
the words that said something in one way
and in one way something said else
another way
the twenty minutes that put those
two words together to best
translate the mind
When I count words
You don’t see the lifetimes, knowledge
wisdom, wrinkles, the ‘ten necessary references’,
the ‘let it sit for a few hours’ the ‘watch and learn’
the ‘shutup and listen’ the google and wikipedia, and (if you insist)
the news
When I count words
You don’t see the love felt, the lessons learnt to reach them
You can’t see all of its invisible infinite reasons.