What is brave?
What are steps?
What are steps towards unbeing that awkward unconfidence that hyperventilating mess that chaos in a kerfuffle of unnecessary distress?
what is breath? what is meaningful, mindful breath?
is it signing up for a too-close-for-comfort tango class?
or going to that discussion forum all on your own?
-is it eating alone in a crowded restaurant?
or learning to be still on a crowded train without escaping to your phone?
-is this work? or is it just me being absurd?
will it work?
will it help me be the me I want to be, I need to be, before I become the me that can be heard?
-is this work?
or is it too much effort minus harmony? a self-induced discomfort- is it too far against the current- maybe I’m meant to live life quietly?
what are steps? what are paths? and will these aims reach out to make more sense out of the past?
what is flow? will it make me be the me that in the future I want to know?
is this trying? or is it just a crying baby?
a no-problem-is-a-problem situation, am I just ungrateful- maybe?
It is a challenge. It is rough. If it is tough. does that mean it will change me?
will I become that outspoken person, will I learn to lose my anxiety?
These are steps, and I hope they are walking to the right place
as I wash then brave my face again and again in some invisible race
against my growing age and who I want to have become: That unafraid one.
because I feel, that only when I break through this invisible current-
-only then will I be real.