That truth before is still
Even if the sound hid it for a
And in the silence I have learnt
That some friends before still friends now
and some friends before not friends now
And in the silence I have learnt how
to tell the difference
And in the silence I have learnt to
Feel the hurt and absorb it to
Dissect the bruise and question what it is about it exactly that makes me hurt and to find that thin strong thread of core truth and follow it to the point where it points out where my wound is and then further to where it understands how to help me heal
And in the silence I found an inward journey that went on for centuries and knew everything it needed to know instinctively
And in the silence I found an aching sadness that nothing is ever truly found that nothing is ever truly understood
But in this silence I also found a quiet joy in realizing that nothing is really ever truly lost. That it is right here, all the time. In this silence
And in this silence I found a power in the stillness
It is looking without watching. It is hearing while gently listening. It is a complacent passive understanding in observance
It is knowing,
Misunderstood because it borrows
humility from the hundred eyes broadcasting and everyone seems to learn
a little bit- more- than they would have if there was no distress
When anger floating without cause is the cause of self destruction just like steps without a foothold on the ground cannot cause disruption just like change
always had a way to push against the current just like current was electric meaning intensely powerful just like the words that make these paragraphs intently digital
Ego from this egg and let its
shell crack to let the yellow love beneath
It spill because beneath the vulnerability is a still and it
is from where the happy fills
to create a shallow depth of field
to achieve bokeh, to learn about balance
ISO, aperture and shutter speed. Trap light, Trap
time, Trap moment. Trap a look. Trap a story
Trap a history.
and trap it right.
Like glitter-dust confetti, and watch
-watch, how they fall onto the ground in an explosion of ideas
a kerfuffle of meaning. Watch, watch
how its alphabetic matter disintegrates and separates like
form from dust or dust in wind. Or wind.
Like wind, it breaks, it cannot be caught, it cannot be still.
It fades beneath more words beneath time beneath travel and
experiences. It fades until there is nothing left but a memory, then
a memory of a memory and then -something- so distant and so brittle that
even the act of trying to grasp it will destroy it, will destroy it smithereens.
So be careless and careful all at once. Because words need to spill out of and over themselves to become something healthy. Something real.
Like the perseids shower shimmer above us now we are only fleeting,
so let words fly with motivation, until they find their meaning,
let them stretch unframed into this universe, adorned with a comet-chaos-consciousness
where they can breathe.
anger electric energy dancing from the wisps of
forgotten integrity left out humanity careless ego and
lowered self esteem. Taken from the place where steps stood
on cracked concrete and stumble-walked and mumble-talked a mist
layer of existence minus the clarity. Taken from a place where fog hung heavy
like the eyelids over our eyes that irritate, with lashes stuck in grit and the inability
to contemplate before we speak. The inability to blink. We stare, casually unaware that we are hurting until we hurt another in the tone of our voice and the choice of our words.
We walk, carelessly and with a bitter energy that tells the other to ‘watch where you are going’ and forgets, all at once, where we are coming from.
We talk, louder than is necessary, hoping that the words we speak so clearly still those quiet whispers in our heart,
-but if we were to listen to that thuddud pulse that teller of the soul that all-for-you crown and captain of our whole
-it would tell us to follow those footsteps which our hearts have etched. To follow with courage and that being tired, doesn’t necessarily mean rest.
So onward, onward with humility and an apology to the anger I have felt in these few days. Onward with an opening of heart and a stilling of mind, emotions were just passing clouds but beyond that I understand that the sky is me.
to write again and right again
white space black ink
to find again
unravel ideas incite think
to breathe again
the grounding of a soul a link
of mind to heart an unconscious depart
a fatter than flatter dimension of art
a prowess of pronouns a hexagon seeing
reflective object subject and freeing
Don’t ‘learn’ to fly,
just hop and hop and jump and leap and
bound until you fly.
When you’ve been walking all your life
heals scraping tarmac growing blisters
on your toes and growing dullness in your mind and
a heart slowly turning from flesh to stone until you
Don’t walk today, don’t struggle, don’t scrape your feet slowly
nearing that distant pindrop goal. Don’t give in to the tedious and struggle that is the journey. Don’t let it be the journey.
No, -know that you are already there.
That journey: it is here! you are where you need to be and where you
need to be is -you-
so be, and breath, and Fly.
over nasi goreng
and the crunch of fresh crushed
ice lemon juice (we won’t call it lemonade)
And the dead weight of dates make the palm bend
as neon parakeets collect their sweet treasures and
leave the gems behind to grow. And
the shrieks of a hungry child- who might just
be tired-don’t you know? and a switch to their bright smile,
see the eyes of an opening mind and the stretch
of a waking soul and the wonder and surprise
as their world unfolds
watch this pitter patter of chitter chatter
burning ankle and rental
a weight falling as if
gravity was growing
a plane ticket crawling
closer to cover the millimetre
time is broken it
tells of yesterday and tomorrow
all at once in a slur of words
forgets the now as it
tries to web its way around
a whole life to contain it but
look- there are bits always falling
out the net is ever breaking
-you should have made it stronger
when it was in the making!
now its done and the ocean has won
so just let it all go and embrace
something more eternal.