If I can’t look when i see, and I can’t see when I look, then why do see and look have interchangeable meanings?
if its all about the journey, if its all about our steps- then why do we sometimes wish we could skip the steps and travel in leaps and bounds to our dreams?
if its all about the moments that matter, those instances of connection and reassuring understanding, then why do we carry on in steps to forget those memories eventually?
if something really mattered, then why would we let it go?
if something really, really mattered…then how might we hold onto it?
How can we shape the lines of our existence to make our matters matter and our steps concrete, when everything weathers in the weather, and everything is destined to be but dust in the wind?
What, just what is the meaning of all of these miscalculated formulas?
And again, why the steps? why the steps before dreams?
…you wanted to retire early, that was your plan (or, was it your joke?)
and maybe you did,
but I don’t know where to find you anymore.
I’ve retraced your fading steps, I’ve looked to see and seen to look, but you- you don’t know how to be here anymore- and I will not allow it. I will not let you go. I cannot. So let me say, again, my dearest brother bear, -that I never lost you.
Instead, I will color you in words, draw you in descriptions. Words will keep you closer to these times, they will bring you to now in its reflective dimensions, they will keep you with us even though one fist has passed. Words will let us remember you, they will let us speak to you every day. Memory weathers, yes, but words….they are a different matter…words will stay a little while longer.
pandaplatter 