a gut ache in my tummy
a trouble trembling
tumble dread
and I dont know what for
just yet
a restless stillness lurking
lizard laughing in my gut
fussing fretting fighting
flutters my heart
and still I don’t know why
just yet
I wonder what will happen
if this is a premonition
of an imminent condition
if I should watch my step and listen
to the dread
or instead
should I step onto the conveyer belt
not listen to these things I’ve felt
because maybe I haven’t turned into a
psychic just yet
that delicate gravity
it floats above us and
gently weighs us down to let
the soles of our feet fall far enough
to touch the ground
so we might walk to where
we want to be
o delicate souls we are
that have not learnt to fly just yet
life, life, that lets us breathe
that gives us oxygen to fill our
eyes with wonder our minds with miracle
life, that makes some moments freeze
into eternity
so that we learn to fly
stepping into paused skies made of
brick walled moments paralysed
tripping over the invisible threads of our minds
life, its turning cycles tune our thoughts into
reality, that gentle fire that makes us
twist our ankles
as we chase ideas into real dreams
and when reality did speak
it spoke in cryptic symbols like
the letters of the greek
it spoke in tongue
and sometimes bong
it spoke in serenaded song
when reality did dream
it dreamt of flight
unwordly heights
tongue tied and trapped
it nightmared on
unfinished fights
unworded plights
and mute misery it bit at the sound
that might have set it free
and when reality did scream
it screamed of passion past and
histories snapped like twig branches
of a breaking tree like lost limbs
and the phantom pains of incomplete increscents
leaning like magnets towards form
to find the peace anchored in the
eye of the storm
but when reality sang
it brought meaning to the dreaming
and made matter strong
it sang in harmony and from the
chaos it wove a melody
it breathed energy seeing life
as life it knew
eternity
it makes my knees weak and
my teeth break in a shatter against
themselves trying to twist into
a matter that wont speak for itself
as it retreats into a
space
without face
encased in the displaced
realisation that
I was there
was once where
wisdom lived and shone fair
like the gravity of wonder and
the atoms in the air they
did care that heart it did
beat it did seek
the spoken word it did
defeat a world and conquer
souls with dreams and delusions
more real than the intrusions of
reality in this place
it was ace.
like a fruit fallen away from its tree
rolled into a corner and rot
a cycle of stale thoughts
corrupt lessons
dreams unwoven thread by thread
degutted into lifeless corpse where once
I almost remember life in presence
before these layers fell over my eyes
cobwebbed wall of un-wonder
disillusionment
anchor over heart
smog-sight
cloud-mind
tripping over old wounds
paralysed presence
tortured and shaking the bars that hold it
let it be free
I wish that my minds cage would
release its hold on me
if we find the melody will our toes find dance
if we lose our harmony will it be to chance
if we wind our ways to yesterdays will
it better our prance?
if we find the glue to gather our mind
will it stay together?
if we find the blue that colours our sky
will it be forever
or will the red apocalyptic glaze
blaze closer everyday
asking that our souls
lose itself in play?
is growing
it is picking out the pieces of its mind
laying it out on continents and
looking closely at what it might find
what wars or warriors or fragments of
dillusion
what camp of chaos crescending and
unending
what glaring growling shadow
hiding behind the every door
waiting to slam it on foot
or face
asking evermore
for more
for better
throw me in the deep end
to teach me how to swim
throw me on a dog track
to see how fast I run
electrocute my brain waves
to see how quick they quack
its all a matter of a principle and
fiction-fashioned facts
sunlight streams a
point of focus loses sight the world once
made of delight turns disaster in a single night
a train a train a train is racing across the channels
of this brain and aching like a convict courting
chaos with the ethos of the criminally insane and never again
and then again and then the blame is inward and reclaims
that frame of confidence once there disintegrates like words all
watered out of wisdom and worry n worry wary worry in a hurry
rushing where and wear and ware and…..
what.
when i left a piece of my mind behind
gumdrop shoeboots
a puzzle shook shook and
fallen on a concrete floor
gumdrop shoeboots
there is no consciousness here anymore so
decipher dream from reality with watercolours
until the edges become blurry then
listen clearly to the voices that speak from
the inside or your mind the little people sitting
on the edge of your ear saying things you almost
never knew and then
pandaplatter 